It's what the Lord has done in me...

It's after 11, and I have to get up before 4, but I can never sleep before moves like this one. Besides, I want to give you some final thoughts from Nicaragua =)

When I came to Nicaragua, I was really wondering down in my heart what I would really be able to give. I had never worked with special education, therapy, or horses, and my Spanish skills were really untried. Was it possible that I would just be a burden to my hosts? This was a big fear of mine, and it mirrored a lie that has long been growing in my heart -- that to be loved, I must gain the approval of others by showing them how valuable I am. This is really a sucky lie to live by. It has the power to (and often does) turn you into an insecure people-pleaser.  Of course, I know that this is a lie, but it is still rooted in my heart and I've been praying the past few months that God would uproot this lie and grow me in the truth that I am enough in Him, based solely on the fact that He loves me.

While here in Nicaragua, God has been answering my prayers. It's not that I've had any huge spiritual highs or had some grand epiphany. It's more that I've finally know in my heart the truth that I've known in my head - that I am valuable and loved because God first loved me. The Spirit has shown me this truth through the love of His people here -- at Tesoros, at church, and especially in my family here. Before they knew me, they loved me, and before I had a chance to prove anything, they cared for me. This love, freely given, has been healing for my soul. It's not that those at home don't love me in with God's love this way. It's just that God had to take me to strangers to show me that His love can't be earned, and that I can relax into the arms that hold me.

What a blessed truth! I pray that you all rest quietly and confidently with our Savior.

There is so much more that I want to share with you all, but it will have to wait. For now, good night and God bless.

Psalm 131

A song of ascents. Of David.

My heart is not proud, O Lord,

my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters

or things to wonderful for me.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;

like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me. 

O Israel, put you hope in the Lord, 

both now and forevermore. 

Honduran Vistas

Our trip began at 6:30am Sunday morning (it was almost a 12 hour drive one way). Five of us piled into Michelle's SUV, and we left Managua for Comayagua, Honduras. We crossed the border very easily (later we found out it also illegally) around 10, and one of the first differences we noticed about Honduras was that roads signs were a lot more common here. 

Honduras is so beautiful! The whole drive was through green mountains like these. 

After Tegucigalpa, we hit construction traffic. We were expecting it, so it wasn't too much of a bummer. Another surprise in Honduras were the pine forests that covered the mountains. Sometimes I felt like I was in Colorado, not Central America!

There aren't many rules on the roads in Central America. Probably because of this, there are a lot of monuments like this one that line the roads in memory of someone killed in an accident. 

Our hotel was very comfortable. This is the view of Comayagua from the doorway of our room on the second floor. 

On Monday night, we had dinner at a little restaurant beside this church in the Parque Central. With me beside the fountain is Jennifer, who has worked at Tesoros since it began and came along to see how a different school worked with special needs kids. 

The purpose of our trip was to come to CasAyuda (House of Help). Michelle was asked by a special needs school in the states to act as liason with CasAyuda. While here, she planned to observe classes, answer teachers' questions, and give feedback on what she saw.

Here is the school. On the near right is the dormitory (some kids travel so far to come here, they have to stay the whole week), a painting workshop, and a bakery. The building on the far right houses the classrooms for children with cognitive impairments, and across the courtyard on the left are classrooms for deaf students and the cafeteria. 

Some of the deaf students in the court for recess. 

This is the preschool room where I spent most of my time. The kids are divided by mental capability, not by age, so the kids in preschool were anywhere from 3 to 19 years old. There was almost no organization in this room, and the kids were crazy! None of us could imagine working here every day. 

Classes end at 12 every day, but after lunch, there are vocational classes for the deaf kids. We looked in on their painting class one day and were blown away by their talent! Apparently, a lot of them have natural talent that only needs encouragement. This paintings are given to volunteers as thank-yous, and sometimes sold to support the school and the children themselves.

Besides painting, the students also work with pottery, a printing press (I think that's what it's called -- something arty like that), and help in the bakery.

A reporter who wants to help the school with publicity came and interviewed Michelle on camera! We forgot to watch the news to see if we made it on...

Michelle, Jennifer, and Kate (a friend of Michelle's who is also a teacher) pose with all the teachers from the school. 

Krista is a volunteer at another school near Managua. She came along with us in order to fulfill her life-long dream of visiting Honduras. It was really great to have her with us -- she was always excited about something!

Who knew they had lion's clubs in Central America? 

Here's the church again. Some of the teachers took us site-seeing after class on Wednesday, so we got a closer look. 

Here we are going up the staircase to the clock tower of the Church. 

This clock is the oldest working clock in all of Central America, and possibly the world! It was built in 1450, at the latest (they think it might have been built in 1100) and was brought to Honduras in the 1600s. We got to see it strike the quarter hour -- very cool =)

Here is the view from the bell tower. Comayagua was once the capital of Honduras, and I think the guide said that the building you see here was one of the government buildings from that time period.

Another view of Comayagua and the mountains that surround it. In general, Honduras was much cleaner than Nicaragua, which makes sense as Nicaragua is the second poorest country in the Western Hemisphere (after Hati) and minimum wage in Honduras is twice that of Nicaragua.

A woman prays in the chapel inside the church.

Kate checks out the sweet peek-hole on the door of the Archaeological Museum.  

Here is an example of the native dress of the people that once lived in the area that is now Comayagua. The man in the blue is Mario. He studied engineering, but now works at the school with the deaf students. He acted as our tour guide for the day.  

The bell tower of the church from the streets of Comayagua

Next we went to the Atolera Joselyn, which is a little restaurant that only serves things made from corn. Atol is actually a sweet drink made from cooking corn mush and milk. Here are some of what we had -- tamales and fritas, both made from sweet corn dough and topped with sweet cream. Yummy!

On the way there and back, we went through Tegucigalpa, the capital of Honduras. Teguc (as the locals call it) is sprawled among the mountains and the scenery there is very pretty. 

A look at Teguc -- street level. There are more western stores and restaurants in Teguc, than in Managua, and the traffic wasn't quite as crazy either. 

Finally we arrived in Nicaragua once again! This is a picture of the mountainous north country, where many Nicaraguans farm. 

All in all, it was a great trip. I learned a lot from listening to Kate and Michelle discuss the strengths and weaknesses of the classrooms at CasAyuda, and I loved encountering another part of God's creation. In your prayers this week, please remember the students and staff at CasAyuda. The teachers have a love for the kids, but sometimes lack the knowledge to teach them effectively. Pray that God would give them the perseverance to continue to learn. Also, CasAyuda has had to cut jobs recently, and the really need all the help they can get. They get lots of funding from the states, but the money is rarely given towards salaries. Pray that donors would realize that good teachers are more important than buildings and would be moved to give in a way that allows CasAyuda to hire the help they need. 

Hot Showers = Acclimation

This morning, I took my first hot shower in almost four weeks. Of the four showers in our house, only one has hot water. It's the farthest from my room, and for the first three weeks, I was too hot to even contemplate making the trip. But as I've gotten used to the weather here, the cold water has gotten progressively colder each morning. So today I took that hot shower... and it felt good =)

As you can maybe guess, life here has settled into a routine. As with the weather, I've grown accustomed to my schedule and the people that I interact with. Michelle picks me up every morning at 7:45 to go to Tesoros. I am there all day, doing whatever I can find to do. I listen as the staff tease each other and smile and laugh when the tease me too. Then at 4:30 I mount the bus with the children and staff. Don German, the bus driver, drops me off at the end of my street with Claudia, a bright beautiful girl of 17 who has cerebral palsy. I walk Claudia home before going home myself. At night, I play games with my brothers, watch TV, read the Bible to Nana, talk with Mama, and work on the computer. Sleeping by 10 and then up again for another day.

Still, life is sweet as I continue to develop relationships with my family, the staff at Tesoros, and with friends at church. Areika, a girl my age from church, has invited me to spend the day with her on Saturday. Really, the invitation was a gift from the Father! During all of church Sunday night, I was on the verge of tears, because I wanted so badly to communicate clearly with those around me, but found my Spanish very limiting. I was praying and praying for peace and growth. Then after the service, Areika, who is studying to be an English teacher, asked me to spend the day with her. She said she wasn't sure if she should ask or not, because she is usually shy. But her offer of friendship was exactly what I needed then -- and it came with a chance to practice Spanish with someone who can correct me in English! What a blessing and relief. Please pray for our time together -- that we would be honest and humble, and would share Christ's love.

On Sunday, I leave with Michelle for Honduras! Michelle has been asked to visit some special needs schools there on behalf of their sponsoring organization in the states. We'll be gone for five days -- two of those days will be for travel. Please keep us in your prayers for safe, stress-free travel, and loving fellowship.

I have some prayer requests for you all:

Many of the staff, including Michelle, have been sick, or have sick family members. Please pray for healing and peace.

I am beginning to feel superfluous at Tesoros. They are very well staffed, and my only really job is encourager and helper. My get-things-done attitude is having a hard time accepting that this is a worthwhile occupation. Pray that I would be plugged into the love of God, that I could serve out of this power.

On of the teenage students at Tesoros, Rebecca, is mentally handicapped and her family sees her as a curse. This daughter of God has been denied love and left to fend for herself at home. At this point, her primary caregiver says that only God has stopped her from killing Rebecca. The staff at Tesoros is aware of the situation, but there is really nothing they can do. At this point, the only other place for Rebecca to go is to the mental asylum, which not a good place to be either. Please pray that a new situation could be found for her --where she will be loved and cared for.

Bon Appetit!

Some of the Tuesday morning crowd at Tesoros gets ready for the presentation by the physical therapy students.

After a lot of encouragement, Jenny, one of the Tesoros staff, takes a mighty swing!

Here are some of the boys making cookies! Timo, the one grating the lime, speaks English very well, and I work with him on reading and telling time. 

Here Dona Patricia helps the kids roll out the dough for their cookies. Yummy!

Doña Patricia's Sugar Cookies

Makes 24 cookies

Ingredients:

2 cups flour

2 eggs

3/4 cups of oil

1 cup sugar

Zest of one lime

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 tablespoon vanilla

1/4 tablespoon of salt

Raisins

Process:

Preheat the oven to 400 deg. F

Sift together flour, baking powder, salt.

In a separate bowl, beat the eggs. Add the oil, eggs, lime zest, and vanilla to the dry ingredients and mix well. Then add sugar and eggs.

Add more flour as necessary for a doughy consistency (we had to add up to a cup of flour).

Knead the dough so that it sticks together for rolling.

Roll out the dough to 1/2 thick and use cookie-cutters to cut out cookies.

Put on a greased cookie sheet and a raisin to the center of each.

Cook for 15-20 min, til the bottoms begin to brown. (Cook time will largely depend on how thick your cookies are, so watch them closely!)

Stupid Things I've said in Spanish: Part One

1) We were in a fancy hotel for a graduation ceremony. Mama and I were looking for the ladies room, and we could only find the men's. I said, "Mama, esto es para los caballos." I meant to say "caballeros" which means gentlemen, but instead, with my host brother and his friends standing nearby, I told her this bathroom was for horses.

2) Tonight after church, I wanted to wish a nice young man named Omar goodnight by saying "Adios Omar!" Instead I switched the vowels and said, "Adios Amor!" Which means "Goodbye my love!" and is the phrase the muchista men say to compliment women in the streets. Oops...

They say it your birthday/graduation/last day here.... We're gonna have a good time!

It has been quite the week here in my little corner of Nicaragua! Either I arrived in the height of the party season, or there really are parties ALL THE TIME here. I'm starting to think it's the latter. In my two weeks at Tesoros de Dios, we have had 5 parties and six pinatas. This past week, a group of physical therapy students finished the practicum they had been doing at Tesoros, and they had a party with three pinatas for the kids and the moms (pics to follow). Wednesday was a fun day because all the special education students got to make cookies (recipe to follow). Then on Thursday, a missions team from a Texas church came down. We had about 10min warning of their arrival, and it was amazing how quickly the Tesoros staff came up with stuff for them to do for the morning! Before they left, the team gave blankets to each mom (apparently, it does get cold in Nicaragua) and prayed over them through an interpreter. It was a blessing =) Friday was a another party at work for the birthday of Michelle, our director. Later that night my family went to a graduation service, which was a very fancy affair at a big hotel in Managua. Then, last night we went to a quincinera up at the church in Crucero. A quincinera is a celebration for a girl's 15th birthday, and it is a big deal in Latin American countries. This was the first I'd been to, and it was great (again, pics to follow).

All the partying is fun -- and really necessary with the hard life many Nicaraguans lead -- but it by far the best part is the people! The staff of eight ladies at Tesoros have been so welcoming! I feel as though I belong there. They love to tease and tease to love, so our days are full of laughing =) I also went with Papa and Ruben, my host brother, to youth worship last night; it was one of the biggest blessings of my time here! After the quincinera, we sat in a circle outside under the stars, and sang and prayed together. Even though I didn't understand all that was happening, and my oh-so-white skin shone in the starlight, it was obvious that we were coming before the same God as broken but hopeful members of His body -- how humbling is the unity of believers! And then there is my family here in Nicaragua, who have all but adopted me. I don't know how I'll leave them. But! In Christ, goodbye is never forever.

Prayer Requests:
Nana's ankle -- Nana, who lives with the family and takes care of them, fell a while back and broke her leg in three places. She is out of both the cast and brace, but her ankle is constantly swollen because she stands all day long. Please prayer for relief and healing for her.
Youth at church -- there is a strong youth presence and participation at the family's church. Please prayer that these young people would continue to realize Christ's work in every part of their lives. Especially pray for the men, as they struggle to live differently than the machista (macho) culture they've grown up in, which is cowardly and objectifies women.
Perseverance -- that I would continue the hard work of speaking Spanish, and would continue to live joyfully through the Spirit.

Impoverished

Poverty is a funny thing. Not comical -- I don't mean that at all. No, I mean that it is funny in that it is often not what we think it is. Anyone viewing the typical Nicaraguan abode would say that the people here are poor. And they are -- materially, at least. But the definition of poverty encompasses much more than simply a lack of possessions. It describes brokenness. It describes the effect of sin on our relationships. I might be materially poor because of the broken relationship between man and creation -- the ground will not give fruit. Or I may spiritually poor because I have put my hope in the riches of this world instead of the promises of God. Whatever our situation, poverty is present. The relationships in my life -- between myself and creation, myself and other people, and myself and God -- are never satisfying. There is want! Because of this, Christians enter each other's lives as broken healers, humbly offering the little they have been given to mend each other's brokenness.

The following piece was taken from a message from one friend at home to another currently on the mission field. It describes perfectly the realization of one's own poverty that occurs when trying to share with strangers, and the faithfulness of God in working His relationship-healing power through the offering. The story is an allegory, and I'll leave you to decode it =) Vaya con Dios!

As I was praying for you yesterday and today I feel like God wanted me to share this picture that he has for you and your team. 
here is the picture / story. There was a college student who recently joined a new church and was invited to a church picnic on sunday. the student had never been to a church picnic and didn't know what to expect or bring but was really excited to be a part of the church picnic and invest in whatever way he could. not having alot of money or food, the student put together a sandwhich with stale bread and some mustard...it was all he had at the moment, and headed to the picnic but when he got there, he was surrounded by all these people with amazing food. Suddenly his offering of a sandwhich in the fellowship of the church seemed shameful and small. He wished he had been better prepared or knew what to expect so he could have done a better job. Just as the student was getting ready to leave. A family approached him and asked if they could share their lunches. The student agreed but showed that he only had a sandwhich. The mom took the sandwhich, cut it up to share with the family and then opened the picnic basket and added to the plates salad and fruit and more sandwhiches and fried chicken and every good picnic food imaginable. They fellowshiped together and the spread of picnic food brought even more people to share in their lunch. 

My Journey (So Far) in Pictures

Well, sorry to use a worn out saying, but a picture is worth a thousand words. Instead of simply writing about all that has been going on, I want to show you what I've been up to with these photos... and captions of course!

When we took off in Miami, the sun was just starting to set, and we chased it for awhile. I'm not sure what islands these are, but we passed over them within an hour off take-off on our way to Managua. How beautiful is God's work!

At the airport in Managua, I was met by Michelle Adams, the director of Tesoros, my host mom, Ivania, and my host brother, Gabriel. It was a very warm welcome, and I was glad to receive it after so much alone time in airports and on planes. It was dark when I arrived (the sun sets around 6 or 6:30 year-round), so I wasn't able to see a whole lot a Managua, though the airport is on the opposite of the city from our house. Here is what our house looks like in the daylight. It might not look like it in the picture, but it's really a pretty big house!

This picture was taken from the porch. You can see the new gate the family is putting up. It still needs a light on either side. This gate was built after floods last year that filled the street and ran right into the house. Nicaragua is the safest country in Central America, but this gate does also give a greater sense of security.

Here is the main communal space in the house, just inside the front doors. There's also a dining room table just outside the photo to the right. You can't see it well in this picture, but near the window is a jug of purified water. This is for all the gringos or gringas. New-comers get sick if they drink local water, but it doesn't bother those who have grown up here.

This is my first bedroom. I was only here for six days. It is at the front of the house, just off the living room. I had my own bathroom and everything! As in many non-Western countries, the Nicaraguan sewage system can't handle toilet paper -- don't ask me why. I'm still having trouble remembering to throw the toilet paper in the trash instead of the toilet!

When I arrived, I wasn't the only gringrita in the house. Ayla, a nurse from Texas, had been living with the family for four months and was working to start a medical program in conjunction with four Christian schools in the area. It was really great to have her here when I arrived. She was able to tell me how things generally go about the house, and in Nicaragua in general. We even took a taxi to the mall together on Monday, which was quite an adventure!

Here is the rest of the family -- well almost all of them! Papa (Guadalupe Gomez) was working somewhere in the countryside around Managua. He is a lawyer and a pastor, so he is very busy! Mama (Ivania Matamoros), is in the center. She works as the Business Manager at Nicaraguan Christian Academy, where the boys go to school. She is also very involved at church. My big little brother is Ruben. He is quiet, at least at home, but very kind -- always willing help or explain something to me (both boys speak English). My other hermanito (little brother) is Gabriel. Gabriel is super energetic and loving -- and fun to play with! We're missing Wendy, my big sister, and one of my friends from Dordt. She is working at Dordt this summer, so she's won't be home at all while I am here. Finally, Nana is missing. Nana is our nana. She takes care of everything in the house, including us! Her food is amazing! All of the family have been very hospitable and I truly feel at home here! (P.S. Mama's and Papa's last names are different, not because they're not married, but because that's just the way they do it here.)

Oops! I can't forget the dog! Blackie is a good dog, except when he jumps. I've already gotten paw prints all over my clothes!

Here is the view from our house out to the street. You can see the little building -- I don't think that it's a house, but it's not much different from most of the houses here, including those on our street. People here don't have much, but what they have, they take care of. Today, a neighbor came over while Michelle was visiting to so he could "interview" with her for the position of night guard at Tesoros. Later his wife brought over a dirty piece of paper that had begun to rip at the folds. It was a letter of recommendation from his previous boss. They had no way to copy the letter, so any time he went for an interview, they would have to give the original and return to get it later. This occurrence really made me realize the vast differences my life at home and the lives of the people here.

Here is another picture of our house. You can see the coconut tree on the right side. Unfortunately, the coconuts won't be done until after I leave. Still, the mango tree and the lime tree are producing well! You can see some clothes hanging on the porch, out of the way of the rain. There is a washing machine in our house (a new addition), but no dryer.

Here is my beautiful new room! After Ayla left early this morning, Nana moved my things into her room. Actually, it's Wendy's room. Here in the back of the house it is quieter and cooler than where I was in the front.

Tesoros de Dios! Here is the school where I work. Inside there are places for the kids to do physical therapy and special education. There's also a kitchen. The kids who come to this school only come once or twice a week for three hours at at time. There are too many kids for them to come more than that. Tesoros accepts children ages 2-18 with any kind of disability -- mental or physical -- unless they are violent or better served somewhere else. Every time a child comes to Tesoros, one of their parents or caregivers has to come with them. This way, the mothers are involved with their children's education and therapy, and can support each other. Really, this is one of the coolest aspects of Tesoros -- the way the mothers are given authority in their children's lives, and the joy the mothers have in helping their kids.

At Tesoros, I pretty much do whatever someone tells me to do, although sometimes I have to find things for myself to do. To date, I have done everything from brushing a little girl's teeth, to helping a high schooler with long division, to hauling sand and scooping it into the stable. Here pictured are the benefactors of my hard work -- the horses used in the equestrian therapy at Tesoros.

This is what I've been up to the past week, and a small tasting of my experience here. I am so glad to be in Nicaragua, and getting to know the people here! The language is still hard -- but I am getting better at understanding as my ears become accustomed to the sound and patterns of speech. This post has already been very long, so I will try to tell you some of what I'm learning in the next one, maybe with a story or two =) Thank you for your prayers! Vaya con Dios!

The week before coming to Nicaragua, I was in Grand Rapids for pre-service orientation. All the people who would be going overseas through this denominational organization in the next year were at the denomination headquarters to recieve training on everything from the definition of poverty to how to go to the bathroom in the bush. In this picture are all of us " young people" -- five of them from Dordt! I got to know everyone here pretty well in the four days we had together, and it was a huge blessing and encouragement!

Feliz dia de las madres!

For those of you non-Spanish speakers, "Happy Mother's Day!" Today, my second full day in the country, is Mother's Day. The streets of Managua are full of people selling red and white roses and balloons -- red for those whose mothers are still alive, and white for those whose mothers have passed -- and everyone is lively and happy to celebrate. Yesterday, we had quite the party at my house. All of my mama's family came over for lunch -- almost thirty people! We had a live band and set up tables in on the big porch and everyone ate and enjoyed each other's company. The way Mother's Day is celebrated here versus at home makes for a striking comparison. A lot of moms in the states are content with a card or a small present, and maybe a meal in their honor. Here, everyone has the day off work, and not using that day to celebrate in a big way would be like not celebrating Easter or Thanksgiving back home.

I love the festivities, but they are kind of an overwhelming introduction to the culture and my family. There is so much going on and so many people to meet! Also, I've realized my confidence in my Spanish speaking abilities was really untested til now, and it's not as good as I thought it would be. Please pray that I would continue to persevere in practicing and learning the language, so that I can really build relationships with my host family, my co-workers, and the children I'll be helping.

Tomorrow is my first day of work! I'll leave in the morning with my lunch and a prayer. I promise from now on I'll be better at keeping you all informed of God's work in me, through me, and through the ministry at Tesoros. And I hope to post some picture of my home and family soon. Adios for now. Vaya con Dios.

...if I settle on the far side of the sea...

A few people, after hearing about my summer plans, have said that I am brave to go so far and for so long on my own. But if they could have known the anxious thoughts of my heart tonight, they would see how mistaken they really are! I honestly didn't give much thought to the fact that I would be "going it alone" until this morning. Then I began to realize that no one would be around to make sure I didn't forget my purse in the terminal or miss my flight. The scariest thing about travaling alone is that I am responsible for everything. I have to keep track of all that's going on and all my luggage at all times; ask my mom or my roommate and either of them they tell you that I am not always so good at that. I was scared of messing up, my heart was anxious, and I was not brave.

But then, as I was sitting outside looking at the stars, looking for assurance, God reminded me of His presence; the God who created the galaxies brought to my mind a song of David:

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." (Psalm 139:7-10)

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I have a constant companion more faithful than any earthly friend. If God can manage the universe, I trust Him to handle busy airports too.

Dear Everybody,


I'm so glad you've taken the time to check out this blog! It will be a place for me to share and reflect upon my adventures in growing with God while abroad this summer. In late May, I will leave the states and travel to Managua, Nicaragua to work at Tesoros de Dios, a non-profit ministry that serves children with special needs and their families. 


God has blessed me with this opportunity to serve and learn in another culture, and I pray that as I write and as you read we would together grow in understanding of the ways that God loves and works through people of every tribe and every nation. 

Revelation 5:9-10

And they sang a new song, saying:

   “You are worthy to take the scroll 

   and to open its seals, 

because you were slain, 

   and with your blood you purchased for God 

   persons from every tribe and language and people and nation. 

You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, 

   and they will reign on the earth."